Conflicted

Sitting on the shore
While the waves crashed in
She contemplated submerging and just giving in
Was she a bit broken?
Was she a bit scarred?
Where did she fit in?
What had left her so jarred?
She had too many scars right now
She knew why each one was caused and how
She had too many cracks right now
One touch would leave her shattered and lost
A bit too fragile given the circumstances
Some of you'll driving her to take the wrong stances
Each decision taken she second guessed
To protect herself from feeling bereft
She tried to hold on to her own sanity
To get through each one of her responsibilites
One step, two step, three step, four
What was it that she was walking down for?
Checking each off to get through her day
But what was all of this for anyway?
She looked to the skies for some resolution
Though she didn't think she would get any solution
Where was the one who could be her strong hold?
Just someone in whose arms she could fold
Nobody was there to be the person she needed
Your actions ensured your advice anymore, wouldn't be heeded
She wished to go back to the root of each problem
To have a do-over so that she could solve them
To take that poison right out of your hands
To not agree as you tried to advance
To not be dependent on your kind words
Cause they would be leaked and never reserved
To be a bit stronger in the quiet loneliness
To be a bit tougher in the empty absoluteness
But she didn't know the path to reach there yet
She might be broken for now
She might be a bit too scared.

Drown out the noise...

I turn up the noise as loud as it can go
To drown out the thoughts, leaving me with pain and sorrow
I try not to think and fill up the gaps
I try and relinquish myself of these sinking traps
It hurts to think of all of the messes
I wish I could forget all of my stresses
I want to get rid of the complications
Some of them of my own creation
I try to get lost, move from one to another
But they keep on coming, one after the other
They creep up on me in my idle times and leave me aching on the inside
It's not easy anymore to take things in my stride
So how do I get rid of these feelings
Close off myself so I'm not sent reeling
Banish those sources causing my plight
Can I then focus on myself to see the daylight?
So many questions left unresolved
The actions of others leaving me devolved
I remove the emotions in anger and frustration
But they come back to haunt me in my times of relaxation.